If you’re single, newly married or just graduated from University, you may have come across a lovely group of women that I affectionally regard as the ‘Aunty Interrogation Squad’.
They come in all shades, colours, tribes, and backgrounds and always find a way of infiltrating family parties and events.
I’ve met more than my fair share, let’s take a look at four of them.
1. Aunty Marry
Aunty Marry is the thorn in your flesh. Period. She is the reason why you considered renting a man to act as your fiancee for your cousin’s wedding, but then, like the prodigal son you came to your senses and decided to go solo babalolo.
Aunty Marry has a way of sneaking up on you at the least expected moments. You could be hiding in the toilet and as soon as you step out she is standing there, ready to ask you the golden question: “So, when are you getting married?”
Now, please note that she is fully aware that there is no man in your life eligible for husband status. However, it does not stop her from acting like a scratched vinyl record and asking you the same question. There is nothing wrong with being asked once, or maybe even twice, over a little chinwag with family and friends, but when it becomes an all out interrogation about the lack of testosterone in your life, you know that you have an interrogator on your hands!
The Muse Matters Tip: Your Aunt’s impatience is an opportunity for you to exercise patience in your own life. Being confident and self-assured in your singleness can prevent you from entering into casual flings that can cause you to miss out on God’s will for your life. The key here is to outsmart her with your wittiness. So, the next time Aunty pounces on you with the golden question, just kindly tell her to intensify her fire and brimstone prayers as it is clear that she is is not praying hard enough.
2. Aunty Offspring
The ‘Sucker punch of the century award‘ is always jam packed with a long list of contenders, and, Aunty Offspring wins it heads down! She is the Aunty that is more obsessed with your ovaries than you are.
This is the Aunty that always carries a gigantic fertility clock (with your name on it) which she swears is, now-at-zero. She secretly wants to synchronize her phone with your reproductive organs so that she will be the first person to make a public announcement on Facebook that you are finally ‘with child’. When she’s not muttering about your menstruation cycle, she always finds a way to whisper into your ears her favorite idiom ‘Women are like flowers’.
The Muse Matters Tip: Do not be perturbed by her insensitivity and callousness. Use this as an opportunity to engage in a mini bible study with Aunty.
Anchor yourself on to God’s timeframe and remind her about Ecclesiastes 3:2 ‘A time to be born’. Finally, kindly remind her to quickly brush up on her biblical knowledge and read up on Sarah before the rapture comes.
3. Aunty Rival
You have just moved out of that grotty ground floor bedsit with the window that faces a brick wall, and moved into a two bedroom flat with central heating that actually works.
However, in spite of this mahoosive miracle that God has given you, Aunty Rival is the first to remind you of Aunty ‘so and so’s’, youngest daughter who has just bought herself a three bedroom house. And, let’s not forget, her new swanky SW3 postcode which is way out of your price bracket.
The Muse Matters Tip: Instead of shuffling back to your new flat and feeling like a wet muppet, remain focused on the blessing that God has just given you.
Learn how to celebrate your milestones even when others mock them.
Take comfort in the Apostle Pauls’ wise words ‘For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise’ (2 Corinthians 10:12, NKJV).
It’s been a couple of months since you graduated and joined the ‘we all have degrees’ club in your family. Now, you can finally boast that you have Bsc after your name but the three years of blood, sweat and campus tears are not enough for Aunty Degree.
Nah mate! The only degrees worthy of celebration are Medicine, Law, and Accountancy. She doesn’t have to vocalize her disappointment whenever you utter that you are a ‘Dance Psychologist’. No, all she has to do is curl her bottom lip and screw her nose as if you have just farted or burped in her face.
The Muse Matters Tip: Please do not start to question the validity of your degree or even worse, downplay your achievements. The purpose God has for you supersedes the approval and affirmation of your aunt. Getting a traditional degree is great, but if your passion lies elsewhere don’t succumb to the clutches of conformity.
Remember, conformity stifles creativity, so, loose yourself from the yoke of her acceptance and walk in your divine purpose. Kindly remind her that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and God’s plans for you are to give you a future, a hope and an expected end (Jeremiah 2:11).