Bumps, Buses & Basic Etiquette

Public transport has come a long way in making provisions for pregnant women, however, the lovely blue and white priority signs cannot always seal your bum on a seat. Long gone are the days when people were willing to offer their seats to a heavily pregnant woman, hence the creation of the Transport for London ‘Baby on Board’ badge. So, here are a number of gifts I suggest every pregnant woman should have on her gift list.

School Bell

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Yes, the big old school bell that you can hear at least half a mile away! Stash one in your maternity sized bag and bring it out as soon as you get on the bus. You may be mistaken for Mrs.Santa Claus, and it’s more than likely that you’ll be known as the ‘senile pregnant lady’ with the mahoosive bell from hell!

LED belt buckle

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You don’t need to be a fashionista to know that the LED belt buckle was a hit and miss fashion trend. However, where the LED light-emitting belt failed in the fashion department it will surely turn heads on public transport! Simply programme the words ‘Pregnant woman on board’ and you’ll be certain to attract a few eerie looking stares and some seat offers.

Handheld Megaphone

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In the lofty words of Thomas Jefferson: ‘ If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done’. If you have never been offered a seat since you fell pregnant and you are tired of standing on your swollen ankles then please,by all means, bring out the handheld megaphone. With this must-have gift in your possession, you can easily project your voice as far as 900 yards away! Unfortunately, you may be issued with a penalty notice for disorder (PND)so I would advise you to prayerfully consider this gift with caution.

Do you have any other gift ideas for mums-to-be? Please don’t forget to like, follow or share with family and friends. 🙂

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