Get into debt over a sparkly jumper
There is good debt and then there is bad debt. Spending your last ten quid on a ‘must-have’ item for a festive party that will eventually land up in the ‘Buy One Get One Free’ bin is a no-no.
Pretend to be a Master Chef
December is not the month to try to be a Michelin star chef, so think twice about hosting the Christmas dinner party of the century. For those of you that still want to punch above your weight, shine your eyes and think twice, especially if you are still depending on Youtube to teach you how to boil an egg.
Shop on Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve is not the time to play ‘last one standing’ in the middle of the supermarket whizzing around with an empty trolley looking for a giant turkey. Do yourself a favour mate and save your furrowed brow for another day. You will either end up with half a chicken wing or a packet of biltong.
Arrive late to your hair appointment
The best time to get your hair done is on Christmas Eve Eve and if you are very fortunate to hit the hair salons on Christmas Eve, please do so with caution and do the following:
- Make sure that you lower your expectations. If the hairdresser estimates two hours for a simple wash and roller set, don’t believe her. Add an additional five hours to her estimate and a two-hour grace period (you will thank me for this).
- Do not attempt to install micro Senegalese twists or anything with the prefix ‘micro’ to your head on Christmas Eve. There is a high chance that you will end up leaving with half of your head done and a pitiful ‘You can always come back after the holidays to complete the rest’ response.
- Be prepared to participate in the infamous game of hair salon ‘musical chairs’ whether you like it or not. The lady that was late for her ten o’clock appointment will surely arrive at twelve and demand for her hair to be done, take your seat and bypass the fact that the hairdresser is still adding colour to your roots.
- Not all salons close at the time that they advertise. Were you hoping to get the last train home in time for a Christmas Eve church service? Well, forget it! You may have to settle with a makeshift night vigil under the hair dryer.
Lose yourself at the office party
Please make your presence felt, two-step to one of the cheesy Christmas tunes and then leave before Happy Hour. How will I know it’s happy hour? When you see your supervisor in the middle of the dance floor doing some Gangnam style pose, then you know its time to leave. Always have in the back of your mind that you are the salt of the earth and if you lose your flavour you will be trampled on (Matthew 5:13). The last thing you will need in the new year, is an album of your face tagged next to Bob from HR, about to moon for the camera.