Focus on your attributes
It is so easy to fall into a slump whenever you fall victim to the acidic tongue or on-line comments of the ‘body-shamers’, but it is so important that you learn how to focus on your attributes and not your so-called flaws. If you do not know who you are, you give another person the authority to define you. You are more than your facial features, weight or height. The bible says that beauty fades and charm is deceptive but a woman that fears the Lord is worthy to be praised (Proverbs 31:30). Apart from focusing solely on your appearance, what are you good at? What brings you immense joy? What can you do so effortlessly without much struggle? When you are able to identify your key attributes, strengths and skills you will grow in self-confidence. Now I can hear someone shout at the screen saying ‘Well I’m not so beautiful, I’m not the yardstick of beauty…’ for a start, God, the master artisan designed you! You are His very own masterpiece and designer original. You are far too precious to be confined by worldly standards of beauty.
Speak truth into your life
The bible says that life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). People that body shame understand how to use this weapon to full effect. They know how to turn a day from one hundred to zero in lightning speed! Ask yourself a question, what are you confessing about yourself? Are you repeating the negativity that you have heard about yourself? Well stop. Do this simple task: Stand in front of a mirror and speak words of life to yourself. Use your bible concordance as a guide to quote scriptures that highlight who you are as a child of God.
Sometimes we wait for others to compliment, praise or celebrate us. Let your ears hear how great you are, how blessed and anointed you are, how valuable you are to your friends, family, colleagues and community. Whenever I feel like dignifying foolish thoughts with a pity party I remember and speak aloud some of my favourite scriptures and quotes such as Psalm 139:14: ‘ I am fearfully and wonderfully made’
Analyse the Shamer
People that engage in body shaming waste their analytical skills by zoning in on what they deem a problem with your physique. What you need to understand is that behind the mocking smirks, the criticisms or whatever instrument they choose to use to belittle your existence there lies a person with deeply rooted insecurities. As they are pointing at you with the finger of judgement, three fingers are pointing back at them.
They gain pleasure out of promoting other peoples pain. They thrive off putting others down in order to elevate themselves. But what they have failed to understand is that their self acclaimed elevation is as fake as a set of veneers!
Before you start second guessing yourself or crawl into a ball of woes, think twice about the person sending the arrow. Do you really think that an emotionally mature person would stoop so low as to engage in body shaming?
In Matthew 11: 28, our heavenly father extends his hands of love towards you. He wants to peel away the masks of mockery, shame and rejection that you have been wearing for far too long. The weights of worry, self-hatred and anxiety have weighed you down. Why not kneel down at his feet, give him the weights to carry and enter into his rest? Nothing can compare to the comfort of God’s love when we cast all of our pain, fears or anxieties at his feet in prayer. Even when we are alone or feel too insecure to confide in friends or family about our problems we can always be rest assured that our loving father is always there to listen to us.
Check your company
How many times has your social media feed been hijacked with the over zealously used hashtag ‘squad goals’? As cheesy as it may sound, having a strong circle of friends or family may be of great help to overcoming the negative effects of body shaming.
The bible reminds us that two is better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) and the encouraging words of a loved one can do so much to steer us away from dwelling on negativity. If you do not have any friends you may benefit from joining an online support group, a fellowship group at your local church or subscribe to a social media vlogger that you know regularly uploads uplifting and encouraging messages. Keep yourself connected to those that will celebrate you, reaffirm your attributes and give you honest and sincere advice and support.
Arise and shine
Body-shamers hate it when their victims realise their worth and value because it undermines their criticisms and silences their hatred. Every time you decide to lift your head up and celebrate your uniqueness, you consume their darkness with your brightness. For too long you have been like a vinyl record with a deep scratch in the groove, stuck on their hurtful words. Get back into a smooth continuous rhythm by making the decision to arise, walk away from the negativity and shine where you are.
- Focus on your attributes
- Speak truth into your life
- Analyse the shamer
- Check your company
- Arise and shine
Do you have any other tips to share? I look forward to reading your comments.